I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home. My family went to church three times a week, and we did our best to be a part of the different activities of the church. I went to a Christian school as a kid, yet still, with all this Christianity surrounding me in my life, I was a teenager and on my way to Hell.
At the age of ten I went to a Bible camp for children. At this camp, the director was preaching nightly on how one goes to heaven. I have to admit, I wasn’t really paying attention throughout the week. But on Wednesday night, he started preaching on Hell, and it got my attention. He talked about how Mark 9:45b says that ”the fire never shall be quenched.” I didn’t want to go there, but I was too proud to go talk to anyone about salvation. I knew enough that I needed to ask the Lord to save me, but I didn’t really understand that I deserved Hell, and I also didn’t understand that I needed a Saviour. But I prayed and asked the Lord to save me, and I would cling to this profession for a while.
Why didn’t I understand my need for a Saviour? You see, in my eyes I was a good kid. I went to church, and while I could recite verses like Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God;” I hadn’t really applied God’s Word to my heart. I didn’t understand that God’s Holiness demanded perfection, and that there is no small sin in God’s eyes.
I went into my teen years holding onto this profession of salvation I had made. The problem was, I had no desire to serve God. When I sinned, there was no conviction unless I got caught. I didn’t care about God’s Word, and church was just a time for me to see my friends. Even as a teenager, I started getting deeper and deeper into sin’s grasp. At the age of 16, I finally realized that I wasn’t saved, but I loved my sin too much, and was too proud to admit to others that I was lost. During this time, when conviction would come about my need for Christ, I would often turn to my music to distract me from God’s call to me. I couldn’t be alone in silence, because I knew what I needed to do.
On a Sunday night, during a preaching service, the conviction grew in my heart of my need for Christ in my life. I again pushed it aside and said I would take care of it when I got home. When I got home however, I rejected God yet again. I wanted to be in control of my life!
But, the Lord didn’t give up on me, even though I had shut Him out of my life so many times. II Peter 3:9 says, “The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” The next day, I finally turned off the music when the Lord was convicting me on my need for salvation. In the silence, alone in my room, I gave my life to Christ. I no longer wanted to control my life, to live in my sin. I put my faith in Him, and He immediately saved me, and gave me a peace that is both unexplainable, and amazing.
I held out so long because I wanted to keep my sin. However, I was never happy. I held out because I wanted control of my life, yet no one truly is in control of their life. We have no say in what is going to happen at any given moment. There is no valid excuse to say no to Christ, yet I did many times. I’m so thankful that God didn’t give up on me, and that I can now say that II Corinthians 5:17 speaks of me! “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. “